If the person makes eye contact and displays positive body language, but you can’t get up the nerve to talk to him or her or you have to get off at the next stop, write down your phone number or email address on a piece of paper (a newspaper will work), smile at the person as you get off the bus or train, and hand them the piece of paper. If the person calls or sends you a note, great. If not, no big deal. Keep in mind that this is a very low-percentage approach, so don’t expect a call. If you have time, it’s best to just muster the courage to talk to the person.
If the person is sitting and you’re standing, position yourself so that your crotch isn’t in the person’s face.
It can take some courage to actually talk to a stranger on the bus or train, but remember that this is really an ideal situation. If the person isn’t interested, you probably won’t see them again, and even if you do, you can just sit far away from them.
If a person hunches over or turns away from you, or if he or she fails to make good eye contact, they’re probably not interested, but not necessarily so. Some people are just shy, and public transportation tends to accentuate this shyness. Don’t expect much from a person who shows negative body language toward you, but at the same time don’t assume he or she is not interested. If you’re particularly brave, take a chance.
If you get shot down and feel embarrassed, just get off at the next stop and board the next bus or train. Maybe someone else will catch your eye. If so, try again. Even if someone might be interested in you in other situations, they might not feel like talking on their commute, or they might be preoccupied. Don’t take rejection personally.
When making eye contact, keep your facial expression light and friendly, rather than straight and serious.
Look for a ring. Look to see if your potential paramour is wearing a wedding or (if they’re a woman) an engagement ring. If they’re wearing a ring (ring finger of left hand) they’re off limits. If they wanted you to approach them, they would have left their ring at home on the dresser.
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some of the stuff we\’ve covered….
Warnings when talking to strangers on trains, buses or anywhere!
While the eye-contact test is a good way to gauge a person’s interest in you, it’s easy to misconstrue an innocent glance or, sometimes, a look of disgust for interest. Don’t shy away from trying to talk to the person, but don’t feel shocked or hurt if they don’t seem interested when you do.
Don’t stare at the person. Brief eye contact can show you’re interested; staring can show you’re creepy.
If you arrange to meet someone you’ve met on the bus or train, be safe. Meet in a very public place, and tell a friend or relative where you’re going.
Avoid talking to someone if they’re either reading a book or newspaper etc… or listening to music with their MP3 or iPod. (they may not want to be disturbed, and want some privacy.)
Overall, don’t worry if you get shot down. It’s not an exact science… you don’t know what kind of day the person you are trying to make a connection with is having. Maybe it’s just a bad time. Don’t let a failure shape how you think about yourself, or discourage you from trying again.
Some public transport systems are known for consistently being clogged with people who are in a hurry or just generally “Not in the mood” for being spoken to.
Sometimes, a person you strike up a conversation with will ask you for money. If you feel like you’re being pressured to give them some, even when you honestly don’t want to, tell them a clear and confident “No.” Stay in control of your situation.
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